| Domestic violence: As the spirit dies |
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| Written by Encarna Segura | |||||
| Friday, 09 September 2005 | |||||
Page 1 of 3 When I met G.D., an attorney, I was surprised by her way to cope with her personal tragedy. For her it was difficult to accept that she was psychologically abused by her husband for many years. “I didn’t think I was being abused, at the beginning it wasn’t a physical abuse. He started to take away small things from me, like not letting me talk with my family in my country. It sounded weird, but I didn’t think it was abuse. Or maybe I didn’t want to accept it as such”, she said. G.D. was one of the many women who suffer mistreatments and don’t know it. “The causes are many. It may be for religious reasons, or because they think that’s normal and their partners have authority over them,” explains Elsa Romero, Family Social Services Support Worker from Mary’s Center. G.D. stayed in the relationship even though it was becoming more hostile by the day. “I kept living with him, and the abuses became ever more evident, the psychological abuse became physical, the aggressions were constant. In every case of domestic violence there is a well defined cycle: the stage of violence (can last between 5 minutes to 24 hours); the honeymoon stage, where everything is love and promises; and the built-up stage (which can include abusive conducts and minor incidents), this stage can last minutes, months or years. This is a constant cycle,” explains G.D. Domestic violence is considered a major public health problem by international organizations and governments. In 1998, the World Health Organization declared domestic violence a health services priority. The causes are diverse. “The socio-cultural attitudes, social conditions, marital relationship, family conflicts, psychopathic disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, a history of abuse and violence in the family,” explains the Psychologist Maria del Carmen Fernández Alonso. M.C. was abused by her husband. “I lived first hand; mi current husband used to be a very violent, possessive and jealous person. He mistreated me many times physically and psychologically; always without any cause, but he would allege it was something he couldn’t control, it was stronger than him”. “After our first son was born things degraded and one day I had enough and called the police to get him arrested. After that we talked and decided how things should be. I, of course, didn’t want to send to jail my son’s father so I gave him a chance. After more than a year separated, we decided to try again and, you see, now we have another baby and things have improved a lot,” M.C. states. This isn’t the case for most women in the centers. |
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| Last Updated ( Friday, 09 September 2005 ) | |||||
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